Wednesday, February 16, 2011
oh, the memories...
As we get closer to our trip to Ethiopia (T minus 16 days, in case anyone was wondering...hehe) I've been thinking of what I should give Ethan's family (as we have asked to meet them during our court). I decided to create a small photo album with photos of Jeremy and I, our home, friends, families and photos of Ethan. To be honest, I never expect it to be such an emotional process. I guess just knowing that his family will look at it from time to time and will have completely different emotions than mine is a bit overwhelming. The more I think about that, the more respectful and almost spiritual I would like this album to come across to them. I pray they always know how much I cherish the priceless gift they have given me and how much I respect them and want to honor their memory and heritage.
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First,
ReplyDeleteI still have your book. We've had some family stuff going on and we were both out sick with fevers and antibiotics. We're on the up and up so I am going to go put in the mail after work today. FINALLY!! YIPPEE!
Secondly,
I recently found Mark Schultz's reflections on the behind the scenes of his song and it just got me thinking even more. Along same lines as your post here. It's just so overwhelming to think of the heart break a momma is going through on other side of world all the while...our greatest joy and hopes come true. The responsibility and feeling of being indebted is so great. What is "the best" way to express appreciation? What would you leave that momma to bring her and the family peace with her decision? Just thinking about it is sooo overwhelming and humbling. I can't imagine how you must feel sitting there and looking over it all knowing in a couple weeks you will be facing Ethan's birth mother. It's a lot emotionally when you really sit and think about it.
What begins our family we want so badly is a heart break for someone else. Heavy.
Erika, your heart is so beautiful! Thank you for your comment. I've been processing all of that this week as I start counting the days to see my son face to face, but still with a heavy heart for the family who were forced to live without him. It is too much for me to grasp. My prayer is that I never forget the way I feel right now for them and that Ethan understands what an amazing sacrifice his birthmother did for him and how much she loved him. My next step is to write her a letter...where to start!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the book. I'm looking forward to trying out all the recipes! I'm so sorry you have been struggling with some sickness. But so glad to hear you're on the road to perfect health!! :) We've had such perfect days lately, it would be a shame to spend the day in bed.
I am praying that God gives you the perfect words to write in that letter to Ethan's birthmother. What a priceless gift to give to a mother who loves her child so much she ensures that he has the best-even if it means having to give him up. You are in my prayers!
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